Sunday, January 21, 2007
Friday, January 19, 2007
IT n Computer Jokes
Java Interview attended by our Hum Jayega
Q. What is d difference between an Abstract class and Interface?
A. Terms are different..nothin more
Q. What's JFC ?
A. Jilebi, Fanta & Coffee
Q. Explain 2tier & 3tier Architecture?
A. 2 wheelers like scooters'll have 2tyres and autorickshaws will've 3tyres.
Q. I wan2 store more than 10 objects in a remote server. Which methodology will follow?
A. Send it thru courier.
Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA?
A. As u wish, I aint have objections.
Q. How2 communicate 2threads each other?
A. Sorry, Non livin thins can't communicate.
Q. Explain RMI Architecture.
A. I'm a computer professional, not an architect man!
Q. What's d use of Servlets?
A. In hotels, they can replace servers.
Q. What's d difference between Process & Threads?
A. Threads r small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process.
Q. What's JAR file?
A. File dat can be kept inside a jar.
Q. What's JINI?
A. A ghost which was Aladdin's frend.
Q. How will u call an Applet from a _Java Script?
A. I'll give invitation.
Q. What's bean ? Where can it b uzd?
A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens 4 cookin they can b used.
Q. Write down how will u create a binary Tree?
A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow.
Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective
Luv Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We hav sum set functions lyk flirtin, goin to movies 2gether, makin long conversasons on fon & den try 2 fit all functions 2 d candidate we lyk.
Aranjd Marriage: Similar 2 object oriented programming aproach. We 1st fix d candidet & den try 2 implement functions on her. D main object is fixd & verios functions r aded 2 suplement d main program. D functions can b aded or deleted.
Luv Marriage: It's a throwaway typ of prototyp as client requirements rizes wid tym thus it's a dynamic system & dificult 2menten.
Aranjd Marriage: Requirments r wel defind so use of waterfal model is posible.
Lov Marriage: Family system hangs bcuz hardwer cald parents rn't respondin.
Aranjd Marriage: Compatible wid hardwer Parents.
Lov Marriage: U r d project leader so u r responsibl 4 implementation and execution of PROJECT- married lyf.
Aranjd Marriage: U r a team member under project leader parents so de r responsibl 4 succesful execuson of project Maried lyf.
Lov Marriage: Client expectasons includ excitin feature as spouse cookin fud, washin clods etc.
Aranjd Marriage: All thiz features r coverd in d SRS as requird features.
Lov Marriage: Acceptans test posible, u can try b4 u Buy.
Aranjd Marriage: Product is sold on an as is wher is basis, Product 1ce sold wil not b taken back!
Monday, January 15, 2007
marriage funnies
Marriage is like a mouse-trap. Those on
the outside r trying to get in while
those on the inside r tryin to get out!
Marriage is d process of finding
out wat kind of a man ur wife
wud hav preferred..!
1. Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, and after death she respects him.
2. It's easy to tell if a man is married or not. Just watch him drive a car with a woman sitting beside him. If both his hands are on the wheel, you can be sure he is married.
3. "What's the matter, you look depressed." "I'm having trouble with my wife." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for30 days." "But that ought to make you happy." "It did, but today is the last day."
4. A man is only half alive before he gets married, after that he is finished.
Complete and Finished..!
Q: Wats d difference between
'complete' n 'finished'?
A: wen u marry d rite girl
ur COMPLETE.
n wen u marry d wrong one
ur FINISHED.
Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis, Product once sold will not be taken back!
greetings
Happy New Year!
Keep the smile,leave the tear,
Think of joy,forget the fear,
Hold the laugh,leave the pain,
Be joyous,Coz its new year!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
New Year is d time 2 unfold new
horizons & realize new dreams,
2 rediscover d strength & faith within u,
2 rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up 4
a new challenge.
Wishing u a truly fulfilling 2007!
When Life is...!
Wen life's a game i wish u alwys win
Wen life's a journey i wish u alwys
walk on roses n wen life's fun i wish
u an evergreen smile on ur face..!
Gudmrng!
One More
Give d opportunity 4 sum1 2 luv u d most..
u'll know how special u r!
Take d opportunity 2 luv sum1 d most..
u'll know how wonderful life is..!
Gudmrng!
Frenship jokes
If Everyone...!
If evry1
forgets U,
Im wid U.
If evry1
lets U dwn,
Im wid U.
If evry1
betrays U,
Im still wid U.
Bt if evry1
likes U,sorry
Im wid 'em.
Sweet as a rose bud
Bright as a star
Cute as a kitten
tats wat u r.
Bundles of joy, Sunshine and fun
Ur everything i luv
al rolled into one..!
General Jokes
Soap opera a cool love story!
There was a beautiful girl named Rexona and a hand some boy named Cinthol, Rexona & cinthol fell in love with each other. Rexona parents were Hamam & Margo, cinthol parents were wheel & Nirma, Rexona was very excited to make cinthol his "Life Boy".
They wished to marry and approach their aunt 501 who mannages to convince them. Rexona & cinthol were very happy in thier love they fixed their marrige at " Fair & lovely " garden opposite to Santoor theatre, Medimix city.
They invited their friends Lux, Dove, Dettol, Savlon, Tide, Fa, Jo and others, Rexona and cinthol got married and lived Happily in their Dream land "PEARS" and after 1 year they got twins 'Johnson & Johnson'.
Smelly Car!
A girl went into a car showroom, looks around all d cars b4 decidin to buy a Red Porsche.
"I'll pay cash!" she says & hands over sum millions. D deal is finalized quickly & she drives it away.
2 days later she's back, fuming, "I want my $ back...it smells awful when I use d brakes."
Not wanting 2 lose d sale, d manager dcides 2 ride in d car wid her 'in case she ain't drivin it properly'.
He gets in & she accelerates, drops it in2 second gear at 50mph, floors d pedal again & slips in2 3rd at 80mph, doz a handbrake turn in2 a country lane & then really starts 2 accelerate. 110mph in 4th, 140 in 5th, d ingin's roarin like a Lion with toothache, & d car is shudderin as it climbs 2 170mph. D scenery is a green blur & d G-force has him pinnd in d seat.
In d distance, 2 his relief, d barriers of a level crossing r beginnin to com down & she'll have 2 slow down (he thinks!), but no, she floors it & d revometer climbs higher. 100 yards from d crossing she slams on d brakes & d car stops inches from d barrier.
"So, can you smell it?" she says.
"SMELL IT? HONEY, I'M SITTING IN IT!"
Statistics..!
Statistics Say 10% of d road accidents
r due 2 drunkn drvng.
Which makes it a logical statmnt
dat 90% of d accidnts
r due 2 drvng widout drinkng.
So.. Cheers!
Flirting
Flirting is the only job in d world
tat man cannot include in his biodata
despite years of experience
n number Of refrences...!
Constipated Horse
Hum Jayega goes to the vet and says, "My horse is constipated."
The vet says, "Take one of these pills, put it in a long tube, stick the other end in the horse's ass, and blow the pill up there."
Hum Jayega comes back the next day, and he looks very sick.
The vet says, "What happened?"
Hum Jayega says, "The horse blew first."
Inspire Yourself..!
Positive Pictures come out frm d negatives,
developed in d dark rooms,
so if u find urself lonely in dark,
dont panic,just undrstnd tat
God is working on a Gud Project..!
Ppl often feel smthin but express smthin else
Dey mean smthin but say smthin else
So learn d art of sayin nothin
in such a way dat it leaves nothin unsaid..!!
Whisky, Beer and Cigarettes
are a persn's worst enemies...
.
.
.
Arent they..?
.
.
.
.
But, the man who runs away from his enemies
Is a Coward.
So Cheers..!!
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